When Business Coaching Breaks Your Trust

It started like most things do in our world — with big promises and a slick sales call.

They were a CrossFit affiliate owner, like so many of us. Pouring their heart into coaching. Juggling the 5am class with backend admin. Doing everything right, but still barely covering rent. So when the ad popped up — “We help gym owners 10x revenue in 90 days!” — they clicked.

Because of course they did.

The first call was magnetic. “This is your time.” “You’re playing small.” “If you just believe in yourself and follow the process, we’ll get you to six figures.”
They didn’t just sell a product.
They sold hope.
They sold certainty.
They sold the idea that maybe you weren’t broken after all — you were just missing the right strategy.

So they signed up. $5,000 up front. Gulp. But hey, “invest in yourself,” right?

Then came the upsells. The “advanced mastermind” that would unlock real scaling. The one-on-one calls that weren’t included in the base package (surprise!). The branded funnels. The “limited time” coaching intensives. More money. More promises. More panic.

They reinvested over and over — because if it wasn’t working yet, surely it was them, not the program.

Each month they felt more anxious. More ashamed. Their numbers weren’t growing. The copy/paste templates didn’t fit their community. And when they voiced concerns, they were met with “You’re just not committed enough.”

That’s when the doubt really started.

Not about the program.

About themselves.

The Silent Damage

When you’re gaslit by a coaching program, the worst part isn’t the money lost.
It’s what it does to your belief in your own instincts.

You start questioning everything.

“Was I just not working hard enough?”
“Maybe I am the problem.”
“Can I even trust myself to make good decisions?”

It doesn’t just wreck your bank account.
It wrecks your self-concept.

And when you’ve been manipulated like that, it makes you pull back. You hesitate to get help again — even the kind that might actually serve you. You don’t ask for support, because the last time you did, you got sold a lie. You stop dreaming. You stop growing. You start protecting.

So What Now?

First: if this is you, you are not stupid.

You were sold to by professionals trained in persuasion. You weren’t weak — you were hopeful. That’s not a flaw. That’s a beautiful, powerful part of you they exploited.

Second: this doesn’t mean all coaching is garbage. It just means we need to change the narratives about what we’ve been sold about what “help” looks like.

Real coaching doesn’t pressure you into urgency.
Real support doesn’t rely on shame or manipulation.
Real guidance is collaborative, not controlling.

And finally — your instincts? They're not broken. They just got hijacked. And with some time, reflection, and healthy mentorship, you can rebuild that trust in yourself.

You get to write the next chapter.

And it doesn’t have to include people who prey on your potential.

If You’ve Been There…

Tell your story. Say it out loud. Shame dies in the light.

And if you’re watching this play out in someone else’s business — be the person who reaches out. Not to fix them. Just to say, “Hey, you’re not crazy. That was manipulation. And I see you.”

Because when we start calling out the crap, we make space for better.

You’re not broken.

You were just in a bad system.

Let’s build better ones.